Unpacking pearls.

The other day my four year old daughter was taken on a date by her Nana and was given the chance to pick out something special as a late Christmas present. Anything she wanted. Hours later she emerged on the doorstep pink-cheeked and excited, hands waving wildly, proud of what she had found.

Fast forward to the next day: her older sister's turn. As she marveled at the treasure Ellie brought home, I watched as her face fell in a mixture of jealousy and disappointment. Anger followed mingled with declarations of hatred for the wretched, inferior thing she had brought home. And blame. There was some of that too.

What happened to the elation and pride she had possessed the day before? How quick she was to discard her choice as soon as something that looked better came along! And how many times have I done the same thing? How many times have I left contentment in the dust to pursue the myth of something better?

Somehow through this crazy process of moving and having my life turned upside down these past few months a small secret was uncovered. Something the Lord has been whispering to me as I unpack boxes and question, question, question. I wouldn't say I've learned it completely, my heart is too fickle for that, but I know it now and hope to remember it. Want what you have and it will be enough.

 
Planning, growing, and setting goals are all worthwhile pursuits, but living in a state of constant dissatisfaction is a detriment to the soul. Sometimes things within our control need to be pursued or changed, but sometimes life just ebbs and flows and needs to be embraced. Peace and contentment seem to come when I somehow turn off the desire to have more. When I stop looking around at what others seem to have. When I stop devaluing all of the incredible gifts in my life and make a decision to be grateful for all of it instead, peace comes. Famine becomes feast.

Somewhere inside of me still lies a little girl who struggles to embrace the season she is actually in instead of wishing for the next one. Who maybe even throws her toys in anger and dissatisfaction at times.  I'm so happy that the Lord is patient with this wandering soul of mine and that I can find my rest in Him. I'm thankful He doesn't give me everything I want, thankful for the struggle. I truly have everything I need.

"Wear gratitude like a cloak and it will feed every corner of your life." -Rumi